Today I have an appointment at the bank. 3:00 p.m. I give them $2,500 and they give me THE HOUSE. Yippeee!!
Friday, January 24, 2003
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
I am back from Hotel California. After checking out the pics, I see how much fun there was to be had. At this con, there were genuinely nice people whom I didn't give much of a second chance because I was too caught up in my own little drama. That is my only regret. They have all invited me to go to *-----------------* in August. I will only go accompanied. Never alone again.
Now that I am back in my element, I can say that it is time for me to move on. Everything happened for the best. A tough decision was made for me by him, but it was the best decision to be taken under the circumstances. I didn't want to realize that it was doomed from the start, he did me a favor by putting me back on my non-ruby clad shoes. He slapped me in the face and showed we weren't in Oz anymore. I am grateful. Though, don't try to make me understand this when I wake up suddenly at 2 a.m. and the certainty that I will never ever hold him tight or kiss him again keeps me awake and crying for the rest of the night.
Now that I am back in my element, I can say that it is time for me to move on. Everything happened for the best. A tough decision was made for me by him, but it was the best decision to be taken under the circumstances. I didn't want to realize that it was doomed from the start, he did me a favor by putting me back on my non-ruby clad shoes. He slapped me in the face and showed we weren't in Oz anymore. I am grateful. Though, don't try to make me understand this when I wake up suddenly at 2 a.m. and the certainty that I will never ever hold him tight or kiss him again keeps me awake and crying for the rest of the night.
Wednesday, January 01, 2003
Happy New Year!! Received the Tenth Anniversary Edition of Lost Souls by Poppy Z. Brite. I am reading the chapbook that came with it: "Con Party at Hotel California". Is that a stress inducing title or what? Weird is all I can say...
Just one week to go to my own version of Hotel California. My hair is slowly turning white. Just the 24 hours I will spend at airports and suspended in the air are sufficient reason for me to go berserk.
Cryptic note time: Been wondering about one person not moving along, keeping themselves in one place, in expectation while the other has probably moved on, changed perspectives, and become a different person than they were a little while before. Must prepare myself for the worst.
The other day I was at the local Mall, hating people all around me, in their frenzy for the $10 discount holiday sales. I see a woman with a strange baby carriage walking towards me. I look and I don't see a baby. I see a grown up man with no arms and no legs, his body covered with a blanket. His eyes are wide open, there is a grin on his face as he tries to take in all the hustle, the colored decorations, the Santa Claus waving. I am still kicking myself, stop the godamn self pity.
Just one week to go to my own version of Hotel California. My hair is slowly turning white. Just the 24 hours I will spend at airports and suspended in the air are sufficient reason for me to go berserk.
Cryptic note time: Been wondering about one person not moving along, keeping themselves in one place, in expectation while the other has probably moved on, changed perspectives, and become a different person than they were a little while before. Must prepare myself for the worst.
The other day I was at the local Mall, hating people all around me, in their frenzy for the $10 discount holiday sales. I see a woman with a strange baby carriage walking towards me. I look and I don't see a baby. I see a grown up man with no arms and no legs, his body covered with a blanket. His eyes are wide open, there is a grin on his face as he tries to take in all the hustle, the colored decorations, the Santa Claus waving. I am still kicking myself, stop the godamn self pity.
