I did get to do the casting. They put me through the abuse mill for not calling and excusing myself, but they needed extras so they commanded me to go. I am an actress: I got dressed in a pink satin atrocious number, pointy heels one size too small and danced salsa.
It went something like this: Two hours getting dressed, made up and hair styled in a french twist bun. The scene: Dance, gunshot, cut, dance, gunshot, cut, dance, gunshot, cut. Four hours doing that. Then it was second scene: gunshot, run down stairs in pointy ill-fitting heels, cut, gunshot, run down stairs in pointy ill-fitting heels, cut,gunshot, run down stairs in pointy ill-fitting heels, cut,etc. Two more hours. One hour lunch. I am not sure I will appear in the movie because they reshot everything with different extras.
This movie is going to have major bloopers and continuity errors. It has a $25 million budget but it won't show. In one instance an extra ran away, they pulled the most similar looking extra and ran up with him to shoot. It was a severe problem: all the extras were fed up and tired of waiting around. They were slipping out on the casting agency. Much infighting ensued. We were almost kidnapped to deter further defections. I was grateful just for getting paid without dealing with major bullshit, just tight shoes and a pink dress.
Things are getting strange in my brain. Letting go will be easier now that we have discussed everything. It is as if what troubled me was not being in good terms with him. Not the fact of facing life without him. There is a saying: everyone enters your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. He is a lifetime friend, a seasonal love and the reason was to open this whole new realm of possibilities I hadn't considered before. Now I know I don't want a prison of love or children. Men are for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I feel better. I feel free. Not to worry: I am not a raging hormonal teenager anymore. Freedom is in the mind.
