Today is the start of the official Christmas season. In homage to the mothers and fathers of Puerto Rican Christmas music, I post the following song, by one of my favorite beloved childhood memories: Chuíto, el de Bayamón. You can all read the translation and listen to the mp3 here

LA VIEJA VOLADORA

Una vieja se vistió
Con unas enaguas can-can
Porque iba para San Juan,
Pero a San Juan no llegó.
Ya verá lo que pasó
Con la vieja en el camino
Que de pronto un remolino
De viento la levantó
Y a otro pueblo la tiró
Como un grano de comino.

Pasó por Barceloneta
Que ni el diablo la cogía
Y la gente no sabía
Si era un globo o un cometa.
Todo Arecibo se inquieta
Cuando por allí pasó
En Guajataca aflojó
Una media y un zapato
Y allí en Camuy hasta el gato
Huyéndole se escondió.

Por allá en San Sebastian
Grandes y chicos corrían
Porque a penas distinguían
La vieja de las can-can
Aguadilla y San Germán
La ven a la misma hora.
En Aguada una señora
Se cayó muerta del susto
Solo al distinguir el busto
De la vieja voladora

En Guánica aterrizó
Dentro de un cañaveral.
De esa finca el mayoral
Fue el primero que la vió.
Dicen que se le acercó
Y ella con gran precaución
Dijo, "soy de Bayamón
Y salí de rumbo a San Juan,
Sin pensar que estas can-can
Cambiarían mi dirección".


THE FLYING OLD LADY


An old lady got dressed up
with can-can petticoats
Because she was going to San Juan
But to San Juan she never arrived.
Soon you'll see what happened
To the old lady on the way.
All of a sudden a whirlwind lifted her
And tossed her toward another town
Like a grain of spice.

She flew over Barceloneta,
Even the devil couldn't catch her
And people couldn't tell
If it was a balloon or a comet.
All Arecibo was upset
When she passed over the town.
Over Guajataca she dropped
a sock and a shoe.
And over Camuy a scared cat
Ran off and hid away.

Over San Sebastian
Old and young ran away
Because they could hardly make out
The old lady of the can-can skirts.
Aguadilla and San Germán
See her at the same time.
In Aguada a lady
Dropped dead in fright
After just making out the bustline
Of the flying old lady.

She landed in Guánica
In a sugar cane field
The foreman from that field
Was the first to see her.
They say he approached her
And with great precaution
She said, "I'm from Bayamón
And I left headed towards San Juan,
Without thinking that my cancan skirt
Would change my route."

I know it may sound stupid but I am mightily pissed. Even the Three Wise Men camel is a victim of the crime wave. I didn't know about these news until today and I find it horrible. How could someone steal a camel, leave it to die cruelly and left to be found without a leg? A very sick fuck, damn: Huérfana de Alí la Lomita de los Vientos

Yesterday I found out how deep the waters of stupidity go at work and college. Computer science and math graduates who don't know how to watch the behavior of a variable, who are not able to fix a program while keeping it running AND who don't know how to submit it electronically, ugh. Salespeople who kept me waiting since last week for their production sheets to arrive, finally come in on a Monday afternoon and expect me to have their ads ready in fifteen minutes. When the other person who helps me do the paper layout is absent. It seems the concept of priority queue has escaped these people.

Went to see the Frida Kahlo exhibition opening. Came out with a crying knot on my throat, really don't know why. Maybe it was seeing her deep love for her roots, the emotional mask she used for her portraits, where her face remains the same and the feelings are portrayed in the background. Her still life paintings are easily the best and most original I have seen from a famous painter. Also discovered a Nickolas Murray's picture of Frida I had not seen. It was an awesome experience. There were a few actual Kahlo paintings: Henry Ford Hospital, My Dress Hangs There, Self Portrait on the Border of Mexico and The United States, Self Portrait with A Monkey(1945), The Suicide of Dorothy Hale and many drawings and studies for others. I want to go back soon.

I forgot to write here that somebody left two kittens in a trash bag tied to the iron gate of the house. Initially I thought they were dead, but they were just exhausted. They have been thriving for two weeks now and Popu has named them Vincent and Jules (when nobody is listening I call them Beavis and Butthead due to their apparent IQ). They have progressed to robust kitty play, fight and chase, will post pictures soon. Let's see if they survive me.

My birth month has ended. Got many cool gifts and things just in time to celebrate.

A list:

• A pizza get-together with movie included
• Megadeth concert
• Anansi Boys
• Helsing ( manga)
• Retribution, Inc. (with XXX rated inscription!)
• The Lighthouse at Cabo Rojo outing
• The death of my dial-up Internet connection and the ushering of a new age: reset the cable modem every two days when it goes out of sync with "the Box"

Cable TV: For those new to the show, weird trivia about me. I had never ever suscribed to cable. Nope, in the 20 years of cable craziness in Puerto Rico, my house has always survived on the 4 tantalizing, interesting, and intellectually stimulating local channels. I thought I was going to be an MTV or VH1 freak. Oh, was I mistaken, MTV no longer stands for music videos, now it is an overextended Aaron Spelling wannabe "reality show". (If I am mistaken, it's because that channel cannot hold my attention for more than 5 seconds) I have not watched Sci-Fi, History Channel or TLC as much as I thought, either. The cable channel surprise has been Animal Planet. Can't tear my eyes off that thing. I have even set email reminders for shows. Must turn it off.

You scored as Captain Jack Sparrow. Roguish,quick-witted, and incredibly lucky, Jack Sparrow is a pirate who sometimes ends up being a hero, against his better judgement. Captain Jack looks out for #1, but he can be counted on (usually) to do the right thing. He has an incredibly persuasive tongue, a mind that borders on genius or insanity, and an incredible talent for getting into trouble and getting out of it. Maybe its brains, maybe its genius, or maybe its just plain luck. Or maybe a mixture of all three. Neo, the "One" 92% Captain Jack Sparrow 92% Batman, the Dark Knight 88% Maximus 83% Indiana Jones 79% The Amazing Spider-Man 54% The Terminator 54% Lara Croft 54% James Bond, Agent 007 50% El Zorro 38% William Wallace 38% Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com